Wednesday the 24th of March 2004
I received a text message on my cell phone saying that I had not been picked out for the Flyspecialisten travel agency commercial. So I sulked a for a little a bit, but within an hour Folk & Film Casting (People & Film) called and asked if I was able to come in the following day Thursday at 9.40 am for a film test for a commercial. This time it would be no manuscript but improvisation for a Byggmaker (building company in Norway) commercial.
Thursday the 25th of March 2004
I came in and was told the scene was of parents at a meeting at a school and the girl and I at the end of the meeting were interested in more information since we did not want to return to our home. We asked the teacher questions of the Christmas party and there was a short dialog between the three of us. We did the scene a few times and it was fun to again play in front of the camera. They will call me if I get the commercial.
The call from the Robinson crew.
Later in the day I received a call from the Robinson crew saying that I was one of the 50 to be called in for another interview. I have later heard that there were between 2500-3000 applications and that 200 of these had been picked out for the first interview that I went to almost two weeks ago. Among the 200 they had picked out 50 who continued to the next interview, and I was one of them.
Saturday the 27th of March 2004
I arrived at Høgskole Senteret (further education center I would call it) at Bislet. Where I received the number 21 and the info sheet for Saturday and Sunday. First up was the team of six, 5 girls and myself in a hurdle competition to test out how we handled being in a competition. It seemed they put up a typical Robinson/Survivor hurdle race. We were to put together a book shelf (I have had lots of practice in putting together book shelves for our family company in Minneapolis and these were similar) but we end up setting it together crooked. Next I carried the two girls on my team to the table with three oranges on it that we were to eat, and then the sit in the chair kinda game where we were to sit down quickly in the five aligned chairs. The last thing was duck under the bridge built between two tables to then run around another table. Then back to the “finish line.”
We were the winners at least for a few moments until one of the girls in charge said that yes it was standing but it was crooked so the teams were equal. As the game went on another person filmed us so they have an idea how we handled the competition part. (Btw I do not really like competition..)
We went back to the waiting area and next up was the interview with the psychiatrist which went really well, and he wanted to ask me questions afterward but we did not have much time so he did not ask me any other questions then what he was assigned to ask.
I had a longer break so I went and had some Shang Hai lunch and returned an hour later to continue with the doctor “check the lungs” and a nurse “take a blood sample and urine test.” I then waited a while for the max test where I was to run on a tread mill with a hose in my mouth to measure breath, and a plastic belt around my chest to measure heart beat. I was able to more or less fairly well control my breathing during the test and was starved for oxygen afterward and I was some what out of it for a while. As I had just finished putting on my sweat pants and a light sweater one of the girls who works for Robinson came and got me and told me that the panel was ready for me, but I was hardly ready for them as I still was somewhat out of it after the running test. I followed her reluctantly thinking, “how can they rush me now after I just finished the running test.”
I had earlier been told that the panel doing the interviewing was of a group of various people behind Robinson, so I knew what I was going to. I went in set down my little bag and went to the black plastic chair in the middle of the room in front of a big camera that seemed to me not to be recording. The two girls, Siri and Pia who interviewed me the first time were there along with the program host, producer, and two more people from Tv3. Siri began asking me questions like tell about your last argument, in which I began to think and talk at the same time so my light headed babble began. I had a hard time answering their other questions like why do you want to attend Robinson, talk about yourself, etc. As I felt like I had a hard time thinking straight as part of me was still on the tread mill. My babble continued and I think we all became a bit frustrated with what came forth from my mouth. In between trying to answer some questions I also mentioned that I had lived in the US for 9 years and had spent the last year in Los Angeles where I had been in a few movies, and I mentioned the movies that were in the cinema in Norway these days. There were also some other glimpses of hope along the way as they asked me how I flirt, and that I could at least talk about in a more down to earth way. The session was over a while later and we were all finished for the day. I was the last person to come in, and I had also felt their exhaustion mixed in with my own even before we began. I was done except one thing, as I still had to try shoes and sandals. Of course nothing really fit right, either too small or too big. Seems just like Robinson to me….. and the attitude I had after finishing with the panel knowing that I had muddled up not being able to answer in a good way many of their questions. I was very frustrated with myself and it went into the night, but finally I fell asleep totally exhausted.
Dreaming of dying and choosing to go to the land of sorrow, and there I met a person I remember from the vacation I took from a time before entering the land of sorrow. This person had lived on a big ranch. I had gone out into the area where the horses were and jumped up on a brown horse controlling the horse with pulling to one side on it’s mane (hair on neck) while I rode the horse in a natural way without a saddle. I rode a little ways when I saw that some of the people from the ranch were far in front of me heading in my direction. I turned around as I did not want to become discovered that I was riding one of their horses without even asking for permission. I went another way for a little while and also there I saw people from the ranch slowly heading my way, so I stopped. There was a gathering before I left and one person stubbornly wanted to go with me, and it seemed like he did for he looked me up in the land of sorrow. He wanted me to enter his car where he had pulled up next to where I stood. I was not sure if I wanted to and stood for a moment wondering. The last moments of the dream that I can remember I sat in the backseat while he and a woman friend sat next to him. He turned and smiled at me grateful for having found me.
… A dream about being found by a friend in the land of sorrow.
Sunday the 28th of March
Today I go swimming at Bislet bad from 3-4 pm as the last of the try out. I got there at 2.50 pm. But it did not really matter when I got there as the only thing I was supposed to do was dive down to the bottom of the 3 meter pool and pick up a ring and swim as far as I could under water. I stayed for a while enjoying myself finally being able to play in water once again.
I am thinking about going back to the Høyskole Senteret as to where another 25 are to have a similar day as to what I had yesterday, and ask if I can clarify a few of the answers I babbled away yesterday. Well I will just have to see what feels right when the time comes.
I skipped going back to talk with the panel, as it just did not seem right to do so. But as I sit here writing I secretly wonder if it had made a difference or not if I had gone back to answer more down to earth their questions, as a presentation is much more than just words. It is about presence.
Ingrid one of the girls who also is trying out for Robinson was heading my way so she drove me back to my brothers apartment from Bislet Bad (pool).
It feels like I will be going even though I feel I did a lousy job with words of presenting myself during the panel interview, but I do though believe that they had made their decision fairly quickly before I even said much. I think that they will pick out 2 teams of 8 in each so out of the 50 applicants 16 will go on, or so I have been told. If I receive a phone call on Wednesday or Thursday then I know that I have made the final cut.
Tuesday 30th of March 2004
Jorun from Robinson called me on Tuesday the 30th of March and told me that I did not make it. She was calling around to let people know, so I am guessing she called the 50 where 18 made the last hurdle.
I was at first disappointed that I was not picked out from among the last 50. But after a while a relief came over me as I realized that I was not going to a deserted island that would very likely affect my health in a negative way, as there would be very little food to eat during the two month experience competing in the Survivor like game.
I had for the last few weeks started to formulate a plan on attending Robinson wondering how it would be like to be away for that long period of time, but the plan just went away before it was finalized.
Now I am plan-less once again, as I often seem to be.
Where to live now?
I don’t even know where I will be living in the next few weeks, as my time in borrowing my brother’s and his wife’s apartment arrives at it’s natural end on 31st of March the day they arrive back from their one month vacation spending time with her parents in Spain.
I am now spending a week perhaps with a friend of mine who lives in Hønefoss, and plan on going back again to Oslo after that. Perhaps I will stay at Nesodden a while again, perhaps I’ll stay a day or two in Haugeto where a few friends live, but it can very quickly become too crowded.