Chapter 3: LA part 1 – End of the month

Monday the 31st of March 2003

The end of the month cycle

I do now know when I first began to notice mood changes happen to me at the end of each month. But I do know that I have been aware of changes happening as if it is one month’s energy wave comes to an end and another begins. Both overlapping making it feel as I am being hit by one huge wave of emotions overwhelming me in the process. Perhaps depressions are just too many emotions running through at once without the body being able to handle the sensory overload. Perhaps depressions is a way for us to strenghten something inside, so that we next time are able to handle just a bit more than last time, helping us to become stronger. We as humans always like to look at things as good or bad, black or white, but it is never that way, and we do not need to look at life in that way. Anything in life is experienced so we can learn from it. The choice is up to each of us how we handle it.

It was fascinating the restlessness that was going through me on Friday evening, knowing that is the end of the month that I am going through changes in myself for the new month that is to arrive tomorrow.

The beginning of a new cycle

A new cycle is about to begin, the dreams I have at night of forces of nature unleashed, and events during the day washing the car, all tell me this. Even the Chinese Fortune cookie I opened earlier today became another symbol:

“You’re transforming yourself into someone who is certain to succeed.”

I had read three fortune cookies this year, all with basically the same message, telling me as I see it that yes I am on the right track to where I need to be.

Life will through my own experiences either at day or through dreams at night share with me truths about my own life. There are symbols around me all the time, some are easier to notice than others. Life becomes so much more enriched by noticing things that are not so obvious, and not so concrete or logical. By being open to the world of imagination and things that are abstract/symbolic I gain better understanding of my own life.

My life has always been filled with much imagination and that is perhaps why I have also been one who can easily have a relationship with what I can not see or physically touch. I am thankful for this, as through imagination and spiritually been able to over time understand more of who I am.

I will share more of my physical experiences (and perhaps a few non physical) as they happen.