Saturday 26th of July.
I had left Los Angeles on the 25th of July as I felt I needed to go home and pickup my car. (I had been renting a car for a while and now wanted to save the money and get a hold of my own car instead.) I quickly noticed after my return to Minneapolis that picking up the car was just a very minor reason for going home.
I went through my closet with my mom figuring out which cloths to take with me back to LA, which cloths would go with them to their new home that is under construction in Sarasota, Florida, and which cloths to give away. I realized that this move was one my parents were going to do without me moving with them. It is time for me to go my own way in life, knowing that mom and dad will be ok without me. I went through my other things as well and some were packed and other things are to be given away. I felt wonderful clearing up my stuff, cleaning up my life.
Almost three weeks passed.
Wednesday 13th of August.
I watched Jay Leno and noticed one of the guests a female actor (Brittany Murphy) was so natural and heart felt that it reminded me of how much I wanted to go back to Los Angeles and get back into acting. I cried thinking how much I wanted to become an actor.
I felt the need and urge well up in me.
Thursday 14th of August.
Kelly from Background Players, an extra casting agency in Hollywood which I had registered with back in May called and told me that she had submitted my picture for the background part as a poster boy in the opening scenes of the upcoming movie called Anchorman. The Director had picked me out and wanted me there. I told her that I was very interested but that I was back in Minneapolis helping my parents move to Florida, so that I was not available for the job. I hung up and sat on the floor for a moment wondering how visible I would be in the movie. I then went downstairs into my dad’s office and told him about the job. He told me that he would be willing to sponsor a place ticket for me to go back to LA. Hesitantly I called Kelly from Background Players and told her that my dad would be willing to sponsor a place ticket. She told me that she did not want that responsibility on her shoulder as this was only a one day background job, and not a featured/speaking role. If it was multiple days then I could rethink it but for one day…. We both agreed that I would give her a call when I was back in Los Angeles to let her know that I am available for work again.
More time passes…
3rd of September.
I have been at my parents house in Chanhassen, Minnesota for over a month and I seem to be in a state of waiting. Waiting for the calling to go back to Los Angeles and continue my acting career. I have another sense of urgently inside as my student visa has expired and January just a few months away my Optional Practical work training permit that I have through Augsburg the college the school I graduated last December will expire. What am I to do?
I feel the strong breeze from Lake Ann as I sit here on a metal picnic bench with the laptop on the table. The breeze moves the water creating small waves. I sit here on the beach needing to write these words. The need to go back to LA comes back on occasion as a fresh breeze from the waters whirling around me.
Saturday 6th of September.
Mom and especially dad is worried lately as I have still not returned to Los Angeles after 5 weeks in Minneapolis. He is afraid that my window of opportunity is closing. January 4th of 2004 the Optional Practical work training permit expires. I need to find another way of staying in the US or I will have to go back again to Norway.
A solution will show up.
Friday 12th of September.
I am now an uncle! At 6.10am Norwegian time my brother’s wife gave birth to a little unconscious blue faced boy who had stopped breathing. The hospital personal was after a few moments able to help him breath again, and he is now at another hospital for observation. His mom and dad have not yet been able to hold the little one in their arms, but are able to touch him where he is laying in a small plastic incubator with a cloth over his face to cover his eyes from the bright light in the room.
Wednesday 17th of September.
A few days before my 33rd birthday 20 September I went to the Mall and the Sportsbar with two friends of mine. I thought of the conversation over my cell phone with Christine my room mate back in Santa Monica that I had a few moments before walking into the mall, and how she told me that she had to move out of the apartment. She had been late on paying last months rent so the landlord had asked her to move out. This meant that the three of us who lived in the apartment also have to move out at the end of September. I began once again thinking of going back to Los Angeles, and the thought got stuck and grew. As I walked back into the Sportsbar into the 80’s FlashBax bar area “Beat It” by Michael Jackson was playing. I smiled as it fit in nicely with leaving soon for Los Angeles.
A few days after I had decided it was time to head back to Los Angeles, I became sick with a cold. The body decided it was time to do some internal cleaning before I left Minneapolis. For the following week I spent a lot of my time alone at home. My parents had left a few days earlier for Florida and would be gone for one and a half week. They filled up their minivan with paintings and glassware to be placed in storage before they can move it into their new home which will be done in the beginning of November. I figured that I would leave a day or two after they came back from their trip. It was a very relaxing week where I was able to let my body do what it needed to get through the cold. My parents came home and I waited a few days extra to get through the cold.
25th of September – 30th of September.
Time to go…
I was ready to leave and I knew that Bryant (a friend of mine) needed to go to Chicago so I suggested that he could come with me to Des Moines and take the Greyhound bus from there, but he spoke with a friend of his in Chicago, and Don suggested that Bryant and I come to Chicago and that the three of us together drive to Los Angeles. It seemed like a very good idea as I would not need to drive alone all the way to LA, so Bryant and I left for Chicago Thursday the 25th of September. Bryant and Don was going to take a class at a wrestling school, so I drove Bryant there and we meet Don. A couple of days later I decided while Bryant was doing wrestling, that I could call an old friend of mine from the time we lived in Chicago back in 1981. We had not seen each other for a few years, and I felt a bit guilty in not contacting him. The chance had finally come up so I was able visit him and Carrie and their two daughters. It was great seeing them again.
Over the next two-three days it became clear that Bryant was not coming with us. Don and I spent time doing various things, and it also become clear that Don needed to stay back in Chicago and take care of things in his own life. One evening I went with Don to a house church meeting for men. As the meeting started the “leader/pastor” said a few things to get it started and then it was silent for a moment before I talked about letting the light/love of Christ shine through to be of service to God. I said this in a response to David the “pastor” who is letting the darkness of the world make him heavy. We can see the darkness around us and how it affects us but realize that all the experiences we have in life are because of issues we need to learn. It is up to us to become light and not be dragged down. It is up to us to realize that there is a reason for all of life’s experiences. It is hard many times to understand why life brings with it certain experiences, but if we look closer at how it affects us we will be able to gain an understanding we did not have before. After my words about light a discussion began among many of the men gathered to convert me into the Christian thinking. I sat patiently smiling giving all who were trying to convert me all the time they needed to say what they felt they needed to share. Many took part and I knew this discussion was good for all of the men gathered as they would be able to look at their own faith.
I let go of control over my life a long time ago, and I know that God guides me into meeting many people, and this became another night where I felt guided to talk about God and Christ using my own words. I look at my life knowing it is up to me to focus on the light and love from Christ and God inside of myself. To let it shine forth as bright as I possibly can. To not dwell on darkness but to understand that darkness is only undiscovered knowledge. When knowledge and understanding is discovered, light comes forth and the darkness goes away.
1st of October.
10 am I left Don’s house finally heading west. Toward Des Moines on I 80 continuing west toward Omaha, reaching into Colorado at 2am that night. I wanted to spend a night in the Rocky Mountains to give me a feeling of my home country, Norway. I pushed onward an hour west of Denver and came to Georgetown where I noticed a sign with a Motel 8 where I stopped for the night. Exhausted I fell asleep right away surrounded by mountains on all sides of the motel. The drive had gone very smooth and very fast. I felt that God was bringing me forth so much quicker then I would have thought before the journey began. Spending a night in the peace of the mountains was a good way to begin the second and last days journey back to LA. I continued at 9.30am slowly heading toward Utah where the landscape dramatically changed from the green and fall colored red covered mountains to a desert light red mountain scape. I stopped just inside the Utah border to look at the beautiful and peaceful desert mountain landscape. That 6 pm I reached Las Vegas, where I stopped to fill gas. I felt a chaos in the air around me as if it was smog so I quickly moved onward. That night I arrived in Santa Monica at around 10.30 pm locale time on the 2nd of October. It felt good traveling alone. The journey from Chicago took only two, smooth and guided days.
I am back again feeling that I had to take a break in my life in Minneapolis to come back here and finish something. I feel that God has been preparing me for what is about to begin. Whatever it is, I know that by January 14th of 2004 my work permit from Augsburg will expire and with it my papers so that I can stay in the US. I will then need to go back to Norway if acting does not work out or something else comes up. I am open for what the future will bring. I have dreams and visions of what that is. I will find out what will be. There are things that I can do as contact a modeling agent that I briefly spoke with two months ago, contact Taylor at Central Casting and ask him for contact information for the Director of the TV series “The District” who wanted me a few weeks ago for a one day job as the partner of a police officer. Perhaps something will happen there. I am back and almost ready to go. God always guides me along my path. It is shown to me over and over again. Life is not random but a mix of free will and the path that God guides us along with all the learning that we need to do along the way.