Wednesday 16 July 2003
I woke up in the same depressing mood as I went to bed with, and as I was thinking about dreams during the night while eating cereal one dream came to mind. I saw old friends from Norway and saw that they had families and had moved onward in their life, while I saw myself stuck in the same place I had been for a very long time. I had not moved onward, and I felt a sadness that I was stuck, almost jealous that they had moved forward in life. It became a day of resting.
Later in the day I received a call from John Robert Powers Entertainment division. Lenora invited me to an audition for commercials and sitcoms tomorrow night at 7 pm at their office close to where I attended the spiritual conference a few weeks ago. She said that they had met me on the Starsky & Hutch film set a few weeks ago. I can remember that I left my business card with the 2 AD (assistant director), so I am guessing that they got my cell phone from him. We will see what is to be.
In the evening I drove the few minutes to the beach and went for a swim. It is the first time I have gone for a dip in the ocean as I other times have just walked on the beach, so it felt great to finally take the plunge. I also felt I took another plunge later that night, as I realized that life has no safety net, that one has to go full onward in life without holding back. I kept repeating for myself before I fell a sleep “there is no safety net,” “there is no safety net.”
Thursday 17th of July 2003.
Life is raw, and not polished.
I had about one and a half hour to get to John Robert Powers Entertainment office in Sherman Oaks. To get there I had to leave at 5.30 pm and go north on the 405 freeway in the middle of rush hour traffic. It was slow going and I thought I would have time to drop by some place close by their office for dinner, but as I got there 6.45 pm, I decided to wait with dinner until I was finished with the “audition.” I came in and filled out a form about interests etc and waited. At 7 pm they took the small group mostly very young kids over to the office next door where they had a big room. In the corner they showed a 2 minute video of some of the people who have gone through JRP, and afterward various people were to talk with the Executive Director a guy who has lived in Sweden and played soccer. After having talked with him people were supposed to read a commercial in front of a camera. Since most of the kids were really young, they did not read any commercial. I spoke with the Exe for a little while and told him that I had been in contact with JRP in Minneapolis. I gave him my headshot and ZED card and he asked me if I was satisfied with these guys meaning ISM who are listed on my ZED card. I told him that they have done nothing for me in regards to getting me jobs, so he asked me if I had an agent in which I replied no. So he got out his business card and wrote on the back the agency he is with. DDO – Agency. He told me that he did not have their phone number in front of him, but that it was back in his office, so that I could call back tomorrow and get the number from him. It seems I went to John Robert Powers to get a number to an agency. I will find out where it leads me.
I left and decided to walk on over next doors to the Buddha Lounge a more upscale dinner restaurant. I asked for a table by the window, and sat down an looked over the menu, and noticed the salmon, which I ordered. As I sat there I became more exhausted as if the people around me were sucking the energy out of me, so I began to visualize God’s light coming into the place and the people around me. As I visualize light I begin to feel energy move through my body in the same way as when I do energy healing on people. It is about how I focus my attention. A little while later the waitress came over and asked me if I wanted to join the four women sitting behind me. I said yes and got up and brought my coat and backpack along over to their table, and said yes I would like to join you. The one blond girl got very embarrassed as I found out later that she had suggested for the other girls that I join them, but I am sure that it was not her that asked the waitress if I wanted to join them. It was probably the group in general that asked the waitress. So I joined the four married women in their middle 30’s to beginning 50’s for dinner. It was pleasant being around them and joining their conversation.