Friday the 2nd of May 2003
I helped Melvin create a resume on the computer so that he could send out letters to casting agencies and TV stations with his resume and headshots.
The long dark haired girl
While at Kinkos a long dark haired girl about my age sat down at the computer next to the one I was using, and we began to talk. She was e-mailing her model pictures to a modeling company (I think) back home in England. She has over the last two years become disgusted with Los Angeles, and how superficial things are here, that she now plans to go home to England.
I finished up with what I was doing and came closer sitting beside her talking while watching her work. In one of her pictures her intensity really came through, and I told her that she is probably intuitive. As I told her this and also that I do energy healing she totally lost her concentration. I was right she is strongly intuitive, and she wanted to talk with me about it. She asked me of opinions on pictures to send, and I told her what I thought. She has some very different looks. I can remember two of them that really stood out for me. She finished up and we walked outside and talked.
The UPS episode
I told her that she seemed stuck going in circles and not moving forward. She wondered why. And I told her that she is hiding her intuitive senses as if they do not exist. She is betraying who she is. I told her of my intuitive psyhic episode back this fall during a trip to UPS. A man in his 60’s had a heart attack and was laying on the floor when I came into the UPS office. Two cops were trying to bring life back into the man, by doing CPR. So I stood there 10 feet away with a feeling of being a messenger and prayed for the man. A few minutes later the ambulance with professional equipment came and tried to bring him back. As they were doing this I suddenly noticed with a psyhic vision the soul/man himself stand beside the dead body, confused and wondering what was going on. A very brief moment passed and a red haired curly man showed up. The red haired man was very exited about seeing his good buddy again, and talked and talked using his arms and full body to show his exitment. I knew the man was now dead, so I prayed, also telling the man to go back into the body. As I did three angels came gliding in as geese landing on a lake. The angeles where there to support a possible transition into what we call heaven, which is bascially just another form of existance. I felt myself “gone” for a moment.”Gone” is when we lose seconds not knowing what happened. I believe in the short moments of being gone, or “in between” moments as I like to call them, our soul shuts off the human bodily consciousness to take care of something it does not want the human consciousness to remember. It happens on occasion with me as I am in certain types of situations or thinking about certain matters. After the “in between” moment I did not notice any longer the angels or the red haired man or the 60 something who had just died. A little while later I asked the ambulance crew if the man had died for a short while, and he told he that the man was dead for 8 seconds before they were able to give him electrical shocks that revived him.
After this episode I told the other UPS customers waiting outside what happened also mentioning what I saw. One guy beamed of what I told him of seeing angels and the dead man standing beside the body. And I think that he now has another view, or perhaps it strengthed what he believes of the after life (as people like to call it). The others could not relate it seemed to what I told as they probably had no specific view of what happens after we die a physical death.
I also told the girl about how I read in my writing class this fall for 10 others in class a very personal story of various strange markings I have on my lower back, and I also bring up spiritual beings, and other things that are not foreign to me, but can be for others. It took a lot of courage for me to share things that for others seem like “crazy stuff”, but I was willing to share. It challenged me to share who I am with a mix of people.
I told her these things to explain that we need to find the courage in ourselves to be who we are. And to learn to accept that some people will never get “it” and will not understand what we are trying to share. But there will be others that will understand, and what we share will help them understand something more of life.
I also told her that for example she sees an angel behind the back of a person, and she feels inside that she needs to tell the person about it. To be in courage she would tell the person I see an angel stand behind you watching over your shoulder. The response will vary from what the person believes. One person might say, you are crazy. Another person might be so moved by hearing about the angel and will remember the it for the rest of their life. One should not stop oneself when there is something important one wants to share because of fear of a negative reaction. This way one will never truly accept onself. She was stuck in her life, of course she was, and I told her why.
I am hoping that I helped her open her own eyes to what is going on in her life. Giving her a chance to understand that only she can get herself unstuck and move forward by accepting her own inutitive senses as a part of her life.
This is not the first person I have spoken to, helping find a solution, and it will not be the last. God leads me into a situation where I meet someone who needs help. I helped the girl from the singles event with issues in her life, and I helped the girl from Kinkos in her’s.
I am here in Los Angeles for many reasons. I know that God works in my life so I am able to be of service to people (usually girls) who are stuck, confused and need some encouraging words to take whichever decisions are needed. I feel blessed because of the guidance I receive and my own willingness to do follow through with it.
Melvin gave me tips about the acting industry, as he has been in it for over 30 years having minor jobs here and there. He gave me information about SAG (Screen Actors Guild) with addresses of acting agents and addresses to Casting Extra companies.
He also gave me tips on which questions to ask when offered a job. For instance, the most obvious
is it a pay job?
Is it union or non-union? Union (SAG or AFTRA – SAG for movies AFTRA for TV) usually means higher payed jobs. Non union might get half the pay of a SAG job.
Another question can be is the company franchised (been accepted by terms outlined by SAG into how the company is run). Another can be which payment company do you use. There are certain companies for instance Sessions that are more common and trustworthy so the person gets the money within a shorter period of time after having done a job.
Melvin took me to Jeff Olan Casting, and I registered with them. They had lots of jobs since they were filling people in as fans etc for the Steve Martin movie. It does not pay much, but it will be an interesting experience.
Melvin and I looked at an apartment that we could rent together. I was very hesitant in this….
Saturday the 3rd of May 2003
I had multiple very difficult arguments with Melvin.
I got myself into a situation with him the he was very controling and very argumentative. It was if I was sucked into close to a verbal assault where he stressed with helping me as he knew he had little time before I would go my way. He was worried that my cash support to him for a few things here and there would stop. The final confrontation came today as we were both thinking about getting an apartment together where he could continue to help me more forward, and I would handle in the beginning until he got back on his feet the financial part. I spoke with mom and dad, and dad helped me clear up the fog I was in. I backed out of everything with Melvin, and Melvin got even more scared, so we had some heavy duty verbal confrontations. Mom and a close friend Norwegian friend back in Minneapolis intuitivly felt something bad was going on with me this day.
Through my experiences with Melvin I had my own chance to feel my own anger in ways I have perhaps never felt before. The last one and a half week have been very tough, but I know that I have learned a few things about anger, and that no one can basically do anything to help someone that is full of anger. When someone is angry the best medicine is probably to say I don’t want this and walk away, and come back at a later time when the person has calmed down.