Sunday, January 12, 2003 9:35 PM
It has been a while since I sent out a message to a group of people I feel connected with in one way or another as I feel my life for a long time has been one of working much in seclusion in my own spirituality and of relearning more of who I am. The time is almost there for me to take one big leap of faith.
The life as a student at Augsburg College in Minneapolis has now finished. I graduated this Christmas with a Bachelor in Art and Art History. As one door closed another opened and is waiting for me to enter, to take the leap of faith into the unknown world of acting. A deep and sleeping dream of becoming an actor in movies created in Los Angeles was awaken last May as I entered into the doors of a company that train people for the modeling and acting industry. I was picked out from a 200-300 as one they wanted to train, but training cost money, and in the end I backed out. I backed out of that company but the dream of acting had been awakened.
The school of Fish (a group of fish)
God gave me another signal in the middle of December a week or two before finishing up at Augsburg when Amy from Wehman acting/modeling agency called the Norwegian Church and left a message saying she needed a Norwegian male voice for a weird commercial by Culver’s (kinda like a MacDonalds chain fast food restaurant). Since I am interested in weirdness Kaia the office secretary left a message for me, and I called Amy back. A little over a week later I stood in one of the recording rooms at Babbleon a recording company in downtown Minneapolis saying the words “Hello Kevin, I missed you at school today, he he he” over and over and over again for an hour (it might seem easy but having four people among them one sitting by the mixing table staring through the glass window in at you is not as easy as one might think). First in Norwegian and then in English with a thick Norwegian accent. The recording is for a North Atlantic Cod, so yes it is a fish speaking those words playing with the meaning of school (group of fish) of fish. The commercial has not aired yet but will soon. I will drop by the agency this week to talk with Amy about getting a copy of the commercial and also getting more precise information when it airs. (I never did get that copy.) (One more thing. I apologize to a girl working at Babbleon for my arrogant attitude toward her. I am sorry. I knew there and then that I should have apologized but I did not do so. Life gave me another chance to apologize right before I left when you happen to suddenly be in front of me blocking my path, but I was silent, and did not use the chance I was given. So I apologize here instead. I have though apologized a few times inside to you. )
Knowing what to do
The signs are around me that the time has come for me to become an actor. I am being lead and will leave when spirit moves me to leave for Los Angeles to test the waters of acting in the movie industry. I do not go because I want to but because I need to. I do not know if acting is something I want to do, but I know it is something I need to do. So as I attend various auditions I attend them not with the purpose of trying to get something, but rather having the experience of attending an audition. It is up to God and the people who look for the personality they feel they need for whatever role to make the decision they need to make. What will happen in Los Angeles I know inside and I have vague feelings of knowing of what will become my future, as I once knew through my intuition I would go straight through the selection process at the training company even before I called them for the first time. My mind does not want to believe too much of what my heart knows. It is too afraid of being disappointed. But it stays open for possibilities that come up. I am open to letting my heart lead me into the future I see it holds for me. I am open to any experience God leads me into, whatever it might be.
I began this e-mail for the reason of sharing a message I read today from the site below, but broadened it with certain things going on in my own life these days.
www.lightsmith.com is a site that reminds me of the spiritual issues of life and how it relates to what is going on in my own life.
Perhaps you will find a spark in it that reminds you of issues in your own life.